Turn the page

I know why I live in the dark, my pain a running river there my body the river banks my soul the grey sky above and my heart the air,I can go on but I won't I'll pause a little,I know this walk through this poem for I have been here many a night I know the smell lingering a faded scent of a yellow rose yellow for friendship rose for the tattoo 
on my left shoulder,no detail 
here,lost in chapter 14,there are 
only made up stories here with 
borrowed words from worn out 
pages from empty books and 
broken head stones,no lives but my 
own,I walk alone with a stick in 
one hand a picture of you in the other and a head filled with 
memories,people try to reach me 
but can't get through reception here is poor the church pray for 
me they say that I need to 
committ to Jesus I know I can.went for a walk with my father once he
 sat in a bus stop and I stood by
 angry but silent hopeful but 
gone......wandering further and 
further away like a star,these words seam meaningless now
 empty and lifeless..I connect to 
disconnect to stay away to return to nothing I breathe polluted air 
simply because I can no i must no
 I can I think,thinking is far to kind 
to me it never let's me down my
 only friend.I hear voices around 
me clear and loud I don't like it I 
guess I'm sensitive like that,love?a 
pass time a fantasy bought some 
of the woman are really good at 
what they do I feel loved,paranoia 
my enemy loves me heaps it can't 
get enough of me it asked me to 
marry her but I....well I'm still 
thinking about it it wouldn't be too
 bad given the history we already have anyway I have a ring already 
its of angel wings brOken but fixable it's 4:53 on the am I'm tired
 but awake fed up but going lost in
 the found and alive.no one knows
 I'm here everybody thinks I've 
gone somewhere theyre waiting for
 me to come home,I dreamt it it 
felt like home I know cause I've 
never been there,my mind is thin 
and time is whispering goodbye I 
can't hear it but I know it's there 
gonna turn the page now.....

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