A Gnome's Life

I would write a little poem

if I weren't a little gnome

little gnomes have gnarled fingers

where no pen can ably linger

 

My writing's done, you see

by my faithful secret'ry

she's twice as large as I

nearly one foot one inch high

 

With dexterity so fine

she has written every line

that I've dictated so well

and I love the fragrant smell

 

of her perfume that I bought

'tis a brand she long has sought

far too costly it would be

on her meager salary

 

She's well paid in other ways

and that is why she stays

you see, gnomes aren't very strong

but in bed we last quite long

 

Long enough for two or three

like my lovely secret'ry

and unlike a human male

my libido never fails

 

for long after man is done

I am still out having fun

but just like a man, 'tis true

I still must answer to

 

the woman in my life

whom I deign to call my wife

and I dread the day when she

finds my secret'ry and me

 

in a passionate embrace

for of me they'll find no trace

and my elfin employee

will be just as dead as me

 

My wife is fierce, you see

born of Irish ancestry

and she really is quite strong

such a fiery leprechaun

 

She is larger than both I

and my secret'ry combined

two foot six of Celtic rage

she belongs inside a cage

 

But until that fateful day

I'll continue in my way

'tis really all I know

now it's time for me to go

 

Mike Wise

12/8/2010

Tags: humor,