Pondering

I’ve pondered a little too much of late I think,
Trusting in the belief that I might have a purpose I haven’t found as yet. 
Somewhere along the line there must be a way, 
To navigate the doubts I have and a lack of confidence I just can’t forget. 

I lay awake at night hoping to figure it all out, 
In the same ways I hope that good things might one day come my way. 
As I sleep alone again in this box standard room, 
Waiting for some source of inspiration or for something else I should say. 

Turning over to the cold side of my pillow case, 
Seems to offer me some comfort when my mind wrestles with itself again. 
I suppose I dream of a warm hand on my shoulder, 
Attached to a dreamy smile and warm eyes that can kiss away the pain. 

There’s a perception that I have selfish tendencies, 
Always considering what’s best for myself and ignoring those I hold dear. 
I really wish I didn’t always come across that way, 
With that ink drilled into my skin that my family knew I’d made quite clear. 

I think I know that this much is always true,
My life is at a standstill because I’m meandering through adulthood,
Hoping for a change in my fortunes yet again, 
While dealing with a lack of self esteem I’d throw away if I could.  

I continue singing along to all these heartfelt songs, 
That detail a life lead by bands I’ve always wished to emulate some day, 
With no audience to hear my tired lonely voice, 
I suppose I’ll just sing along in the dark and hope to find another way. 

Tags: sad, rhyme, confused, imagery,